Monday, January 30, 2012

The Eyes Have It

I can stare at the faces of my girls all day long, that is, if they could hold still long enough. I have memorized every feature, every expression. I know exactly how my oldest's eyebrows raise at the slightest inflection of her voice. I could tell you precisely how my baby's lip starts to curl into the most perfect little baby pout when she's about to cry.

And then there is their eyes, oh their eyes! You know how the ocean, on a crystal clear day, has a gradation from aquamarine to a deep, beautiful blue? Yeah, they're that kind of blue. Their eyes are the exact same shade, but my baby's eyes, well they have the slightest little upturn at the edge, forming them into the most perfect little almond shape. Every since she arrived, I've been obsessed with them. Her eyes are so amazing, so expressive, so pure. If you held this little puddle of love in the crook of your arm, you would totally understand.

That little almond shape is part of the magic of having an extra chromosome. My daughter has them, and the thousands of others who have a little somethin' extra do as well. The did I miss it before? How did I not see the potential, the ability to change the world, the love? I am constantly examining what I used to think about people with Down syndrome, and what I know now. I've realized that what I used to think and what I've learned are two very different things. A lot of what I used to think about Down syndrome wasn't really true. I've learned that there are many awesome individuals paving the way for my daughter to do great things and while my hopes and dreams for her seemed to crash that day 4 months ago, these beautiful people have shown me that those hopes and dreams are still there, with a little twist to them, but still totally and completely there. There's a lot to learn on this new journey...the lingo, the therapies, the "what ifs," but you know one thing I didn't have to learn? How to love her. And really, that's all she needs.

I completely believe that the place we are in now was divine and purposeful. I feel lucky to be her mama. I get to see the world differently. My husband gets to see the world differently. My older daughter, and any other children we are blessed to receive, will get to see the world differently. We get to walk it, hand in hand, with our special little baby leading the way. She will forever be our little compass, pointing us back to what is real, what is valuable, and what is important. How cool is that? This new life? I'm so excited to live it.

She is not exactly what I imagined...
She's so much better.

1 comment:

  1. Love this and love all four of you! I seriously cannot wait to meet Britton in person (hopefully in June). I'll trade ya babies for a few minutes so I can cuddle her :)