2012!

I've always liked those end of the year specials. You know the ones, Barbara Walters Most Fascinating People, Katie Couric's special, and yes, I'll admit, the top celebrity weddings and the top scandals of the year on E. There's always something about the end of the year that makes you stop and reflect on the previous year. In years past, big events included a trip to the other side of the world, graduating college, getting a "real" job, buying a house, getting married, the birth of our first daughter. Not to be overshadowed by the little things like Disney World, the worst sunburn of my life, breaking my foot, and getting rid of unnecessary things like an appendix or tonsils. Reflection. Its a good thing. But this past year, 2011, wow.

This year has been painful.
This year has been beautiful.
This year has changed me.



There are no words to describe what it feels like when your beautiful daughter is born and you hear the words "Down syndrome" and "delayed milestones." There are no words to describe the pain and grief I felt those first few days, while I was begging for all of this not to be true. And there are no words to describe how after the darkness, the light streams in and blasts the darkness away and a whole new strange, but beautiful world opens up while looking at a helpless, squishy, 5 pound baby.



I learned that I am capable, capable of so much more than I could have ever imagined. I have walked a huge valley, and dang it all, I am coming out on the other side. I know there will be days, days where I'm overwhelmed, days where I cry, days where I'm worried because an extra chromosome does come with some added concerns. But today, TODAY, I choose joy. The joy of another year gone, and a new year bursting at the seams with potential. The joy of motherhood, of loving two beautiful girls, one with 46 chromosomes, and one with 47. So good-bye dear 2011, I cherished our time together. Here's to you, 2012, Bring. It. On.